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Hey, I need some input on this storyline im working on. So please read, and reply what you think, or how I can make it better.
Chapter 1: The Begining
It was a dark damp night as Sir Hajakar the Knight of the Shashank Majestry had
entered the dark lands of Valar. He was seeking new lands for the Shashank to
tax. He came upon a stream, the stream was full of life. He had decided it was time
to rest for the sun had passed out of the sky. He then slept. He was awoken early
by sounds of children playing. As he sat up to look, the children where peeking at
him. He decided he should follow the children because they would go to there
homes. Homes would mean a town, or some sort of township.
Chapter 2: Dynakiah Villige
Theme: Dynakiah Villige, a small but prospurouse town of trade, and merchantship.
This Villige has a large history for it has been around for ages.
Sir Hajakar had arrived at Dynakiah Villige after following the children. As he looked
around, seeing all the shops, and houses he decided to talk to some of the villigers
to see what there backgrounds where. He then walked into the Dynakiah Library.
As he walked in, he was inturupted by the librarian. The librarian says, "Welcome
Stranger, to my humble Library. I have never seen you in this villige before". Hajakar
replys,"No, this is my first time in these lands. Could you tell me some of the past
history of this town?". The librarian then walks to the back of the room, and reaches
up to the shelf. He then passes him a rather large red book. The book was entitled,
"Dynakians".
Chapter 3: The Dynakian Culture
As Sir Hajakar reads through the book, he notices a small piece of text. "Dynakiah
is full of treasures, and adventure." He then thinks to him self, Treasure...
Adventure... He then looks down a bit more, "There is lots of life in Dynakiah, the
animals run wildly, not in fear of nothing or no-one. The fairys fly at night, ever so
bright". He then decides to leave, so he passes the book to the librarian. The
librarian says,"You should stop by the local majestry, you look quite fit". Hajakar just
walks out silent.
Chapter 4: The Dynakian Majestry
Sir Hajakar walks into the cold, damp barrecks. He notices that the knights armor is
very weak, aswell as the weapons. He then talks to the Majestrys Lord, Landoth.
"Good day my lord, are you ineed of Knights", Lord Landoth says,"Indeed my fellow
Knightsmen, us Dynakians can never take enough men. What is your name young sir?
"Sir Hajakar says, my name is Sir Hajakar, Knight of the Shashank Majestry". The Lord
simply blinks, then bursts into laughter. Hajakar stairs at the lord, the lord says,"Yes,
Yes my young boy. You are indeed ready to be welcomed into the Dynakians Majestry"
Chapter 5: Life in Dynakiah
Several months had past, as Sir Hajakar has been in the Dynakian Majestry. He was well
known for his sword skill, and leadership. As the months past, he learned Blacksmithery.
He then started combining different metals with others, to make them stronger. As he
did this, he made the Dynakian Armors much much stronger, aswell as there weapons.
He then became well known as the General of the local Majestry. As the years started
to pass, his name became more well known. The Townshop reconized him as the Son of
Dynakiah.
Chapter 6: The dark day
The year was 1387, the farmers season had just ended. The towns supplys where over-
flowing with goods. Metals, Wood, Grains, Corn, Apples and Fish. The town was doing
great, there supplys where never low, everyone was happy. The land started to bloom
even more beautiful then ever. It was the evening, Sir Hajakar son of Dynakiah had just
finished his supper. As he walked outside, he noticed that over Dynakiah Mountain, it
was dark. He couldnt even see the white snow that you could normaly see on it, you
couldnt really see anything. An hour had past, Sir Hajakar was talking to the local
blacksmiths, and they heard a loud rumbling coming from the east. All of a sudden, all
the villigers started crying, and yelling as if they where in deep pain. And Sir Hajakar
looked into the sky, and there it was. The first dragon he had ever seen in his life. The
large dragon came flying down like a rock from the sky, blew fire all over the local shops,
and supply shacks. Houses, shops, supplys where all on fire. All of the supplys, houses,
where destroyed. The only house left standing was Sir Hajakar's. The next day, the
villigers gatherd, they where discussing something, but Hajakar couldnt make it out. So
he walked outside. All of the villigers just sat, and stared. They then told him to leave
the town, and he was never to come back. It was belived that he brought greatness
to the Dynakians. But they belive that greatness is good, only if you accept it, for it
was givin to them. He then left the villige forever. |
01-22-2002, 04:09 PM
Storyline...
Linear Mode
