ive done a kind of mini-story, like a historical event in history, its just a rough and took my like 10 minutes of the top of my head.
see what u think
just a note i know grammer and punctuation are very bad, i typed it in an msn convo, and i always type badly in them. so please judge the material over the punctuation/grammer.
Brothers at war - basic outline
Jin/touya brothers - one a reighteos (spelling?) warriors, who went away to train in a desolate icy field of the planet iricia, the other gained supporters to his cause - total domination and the establishment of the jin empire. while touya remained obliviose to his brothers maliciose rule, he trained tranquilly becoming stronger every day, and so did jin, and jins army became the mightiest in all the land. Jin, trained under his master FireBox, turned bitter at the untimely death of his master, set about to take the whole land of his own. many supporters saw the warriors power and joined him, backed by warriors such as angelus and "snowstorm", his army soon forcefully crushed all opposition and any rebellios force scattered to each part of the planet.
soon, touya returned from irica to his home planet, to find slaves trolling the streets with giant rocks, when he asked them what they where doing, one replied soullessly, "building a statue of our lord, jin"
disbeleif took over touya, could it be his brother causing this oppression, all along he saw store houses and factories, filled with malnourished workers slaving away over weapons and food and other such items.
a month after his return, Touya saw has come to terms with the fact that it was his brother causing this distress to the people, and so vowed to stop it. and soon came into contact with rebel forces, and offered to lend them his might. soon however, they established him as leader, and they became known as team masho, led by 4 masters, and supreme maste
touya, jesse, trojan and arbiter led each faction of 5000 or so rebels each, a forbidable army they had become after years of gaining support, and so a messenger was sent to jin, challenging his army, a new messenger returned, sporting the head of the old, and a messege of acceptance. and so on the icy ground of iricia, where touya had trained, he took up his ultimate weapon known as gravitron and met his brother on the field,. there was no loving reunion, they acted as warring lords, altho a sorrowful sparkle could be seen in the eyes of the older brother, or was it the reflection of the snow?
as the armys met, touya had realise he had underestimated jins army, as it was vaster than he had ever imagined and after just a day of battle, touya had suffered many losses and retreated his reduced forces back to his home base. he called for his strategist, known as jesse, and told him that this battle would only be won by superior strategy.
jesse devised a plan, he set up a base and marked it "3" and another one marked "2" . in base 3 hid arbiters faction, in base 2 hid trojans. the he made base one, where jesse would wait. then touyas forces marched foward and met jins army at the storm rider camp, then fired upon them, before retreating, after 3 hours of retreating, they had reached there spot and saw jins army still giving chase, touya fired his flare gun into the air, to call forthe the hidden warriors in bases 2 and 3 who attacked his army with mortars and rifles, rockets and pistols from both sides, after fully engaged in battle on 3 sides, another flare was released, calling jesses faction to appear and attack the remaining open flank
jins army suffered many heavy losses , but jin did not fall, he killed man after man without being hit himself but before long he came face to face with his brother, and they battled for 2 hours, before touya fell, and jin stood victoriose. with morale at an all time low at the knowlage of there leaders defeat, team mashos numbers slowly began to depleat, before jesse called for retreat, they had been defeated, and the jin empire continued its opression.
04-23-2009, 10:37 PM
New story, need help
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