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Old 01-31-2006, 02:58 AM
OasaTor_PK OasaTor_PK is offline
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New Pater is Announced

Days ago, an evil walked the land of Main. His life spiraling downwards. With his dagger and shield grasped in his hands, he jumps. The closest civilian falls to the ground gasping, begging for mercy. This "OasaTor" fellow is quite the warrior many would say.

Days, months, years pass by. The dark aura around OasaTor's body grows larger by the seconds. The inner demon is awakening. After pillaging the last villiage on Main, he heads to his next destination.. The island of Bel'la Olpyln.

As OasaTor lands upon land, he asks the ferry man for his 3 platinum coins back. The ferry man declines, and is later found decapitated, stripped of all valuables. OasaTor begins walking towards the castle, only to be alerted by the Bel'la army that their was a seige of pirates. He walked to the shores, and pulled out his specticle device. The waters were beginning to turn rapid and furious. There definately was a raid coming.

Bel'la Olplyn was destroyed. OasaTor had escaped to safety in a nearby dungeon. Balor was furious. OasaTor's body had been sapped of life, left there to die.

After the Zormite Kingdom was restored, the Archon walks around. His name Fitzwilliam Vimes. As Fitzwilliam walked in the dungeon ridding all of the pests he notices a vigorous odor. He sees a man, lying there. He inspects only to see the initials "V.L" scorched into his kneck. Fitzwilliam takes the body back to the castle, and ask's the Pater Matthew White to do something. Matthew touched him with his yeilding white aura and says "Its only time, you will awake soon enough."

On the following week, he arises. He states his name is Vrael Loxeus, the Priest of Balor. Rigerous and intesive training with Matthew had provoked the inner magic which had been forever stored in OasaTor's Body. As leadership of the kingdom is handed to Matthew, the spot of Pater is unfilled. Vrael, as the only Priest willing to under-go the task of leading the Arcane Art's force of Zormite to supreme heights.

As the monks arise at the castle, Matthew hands Vrael the Zormite Seal of Approval. A new Pater has arised.


(())Just to add.


Are you in touch with your inner power?
Do you possess the power of the gods?
As you pray, do you wish you had some roll in an army?

Zormite is looking for priests and mages to support our army. The Zormite Army is based off of the arcane power, rather than the foot soldiers.

If you wish to play a roll in the rise of the Zormite Empire, please contact me.


Pater Vrael Loxeus.


(( OOC: I'll get this over with, LOLRP. ))

Last edited by OasaTor_PK; 01-31-2006 at 04:44 AM..
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  #2  
Old 01-31-2006, 04:40 AM
GryffonDurime GryffonDurime is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OasaTor_PK


(( OOC: I'll get this over with, LOLRP. ))
Decent, but the narrative is a bit muddled, your choice of tenses seems odd, and your character seems a bit too "power-player" for my tastes. But the attempt, as all attempts should be, is vigerous.
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Old 01-31-2006, 04:44 AM
OasaTor_PK OasaTor_PK is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GryffonDurime
Decent, but the narrative is a bit muddled, your choice of tenses seems odd, and your character seems a bit too "power-player" for my tastes. But the attempt, as all attempts should be, is vigerous.
Fixed the spelling error, thanks for pointing that out.
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Old 01-31-2006, 08:39 AM
Splke Splke is offline
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I stopped when I saw you power-playing and making up peoples minds about your character.

It's decent, but it's not good either.
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