I think it has a really good start and is actually quite impressive, but I have some advice:
Maybe hire someone to make your storyline more organized and interesting/original?
Also, on the world map, maybe make it so the towns are spread out further? Because unless you make the person's character walk
extremely slow, it seems that you could go from town to town very quickly, which wouldn't be very RPish.
Other than that, it looks good.
