10-15-2005, 01:29 AM
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The Driftwood of Graal
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 1,547
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Uhm...my biggest complaint, as an English freak, is with regard to tenses. In the first sentance alone, you go through several incorrect tenses. "As I awake" implies that you're speaking in the present while "my head was pounding" takes you to the past tense. All in all, it tends to get muddled VERY quickly. |
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