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Originally Posted by Debaglio
1) Be educated:
The Elves (always pluralized as such, never "Elfs") are one of the races that appear in the work of J. R. R. Tolkien. Their complex history is described in full only in The Silmarillion, and it is mentioned tangentially in The Lord of the Rings. Elves were the first inhabitants of Middle-earth who were able to speak. They are sometimes called the Firstborn or the Elder Kindred (as opposed to Men, the Second Ones). The Elves named themselves Quendi ("the Speakers"), in honor of the fact that, when they were created, they were the only living things able to speak. (This name is no accident — Tolkien was a linguist.) Oromë was the first who called them the Eldar ("Star People") because they were born under the stars, but the name is generally considered to exclude the Avari.
Elves are described as the fairest and wisest of all creatures in Middle-earth, lovers of art (particularly songs, which they sing in beautiful voices). Many Elves are also stronger than Men and have far sharper senses. The Ñoldorin Elves in particular possess skills and knowledge which to Men appear to be "magic." Their memories and dreams are as vivid as real life. Their most notable feature is that they are immortal and do not age and catch disease. However, they can be slain. If this happens their spirits go to the Halls of Mandos in Valinor. After a certain period of time (probably insipred by the Catholic doctrine of Purgatory), they are re-embodied, and stay in Valinor forevermore. An exception to this was Glorfindel.
Tolkien's Elves were a representation of what human beings might have become, had they not committed the original sin. They were mostly morally just, as no Elves willingly joined Morgoth or Sauron, the Enemies, although they could be deceived. But exceptions exist like that of Maeglin, who betrayed Gondolin to save his life and for the love of Idril, his cousin. Further, the invulnerability to diseases were granted to them and that they could recover from wounds which would normally kill a mortal Man. However this also made the Elves less flexible in terms of adjusting to an otherwise fallen, ever-changing world.
It should be noted that Tolkien's Elves differ greatly from elves of older folklore, as well as most modern fantasy elves. His Elves were very much human, if Unfallen. (A reference to the Fall of Man.)
Aside from being equal or greater in stature to Men, the now clichéd special affinity with forests and bows is largely an accident, resulting from the fact that the most prominent Elven character in The Lord of the Rings, Legolas, is a Wood-elven archer. The trip to Lórien furthers the perception that most Elves live in trees and carry bows, while we learn from Tolkien's other writings that his Elves were just as likely to live in caves (Nargothrond) or mountain fortresses (Gondolin), and the Ñoldor are more often known for their mighty swords.
In addition, there are no explicit references to "pointy ears"
2) You are a discrace.
The Elves (always pluralized as such, never "Elfs")
3) Elf.... go hang with santa.
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