Young & Unwilling (PG-13)
 

((I wrote this story as a sort of kingdoms roleplay, but i don't use town names because i use it on my main website about my character, anyway the town is "Bomboria" it is in the pub, and i just made up a waitress with the pretty red hairstyle and thought of hurumis waitress looking body, and came up with this girl.))

It was raining heavily. Willow had sought shelter in a cave near the edge of the forest. The sun was going down and the glistening wet bark of the trees looked ashen in the falling sunlight.
Normally the rain wouldn't bother her, but Willow wasn't up to braving any storm today. She'd stay here for the night and leave in the morning, towards her destination. A town not too far from here.
Concentrating her energy she procured a ball of fire and lit some trigs she had found on the cavern floor. The light was warm and pleasing.
She was much more comfortable now than last night. She had come upon a small village and stayed at a tavern. There had been a girl there waiting tables. Rather lovely, with blue eyes and dark, red hair.
Willow had been watching her all night, sipping ale at a table by the fire. When she had called the waitress over for a fifth time, Willow had flashed a seductive smile and asked her to sit down.
When the girl tried to say that she was busy, Willow grabbed her arm and shook her head.
"Come now, talk to me... I haven't had anyone to talk to in so long..."
The girl nodded slowly, afraid of her and sat down.
And that's how it had started. Willow thought of the Coven Of Seduction, and initiating this girl. But things had not gone well at all.
The young waitress had been most unwilling in the room Willow had rented for the night.
Willow grew frustrated with her. It wasn't a good night to make her mad. But after strangling her and tasting a bit of her blood, Willow felt much better.
"I've got to stop doing this." She thought with a laugh as she fled the tavern before anyone knew what had happened. "I'll never find what I'm looking for if I'm thrown into jail."
But in reality she knew that she could pay or seduce her way out of anything. And that's why she laughed. Such near sarcastic thoughts always brought a smile to her face.
And now, laying down in this dark cave she wished she hadn't made the whole trip this far on her own. Although in some ways she was glad for the silence and solitude she had now.
Willow laid down on a blanket as she spread amongst the dried leaves littering the cavern's floor. Tomorrow when she reached her destination everything was going to be set in motion. A darkened grin flashed upon her lips and she drifted into a peaceful sleep.

Then a bunch of angry villagers came into the cave and killed her.

All I will say about this is that I'm uncertain whether PG-13 is what this piece should get...

And stuck her head upon a pike, displaying it at the town gates, don't forget.

Do you not like my story? I would like to see you do better. I really would.

I don't see why this is PG-13.

Nothing blatantly evil is in it. It's not like it's soliciting prostitution.

Its just....the whole evil sickly seduction thing is..... :\


It just doesn't really make for a good rp. You have a character that is twisted and basically uses people, tries to take advantage of them, and naturally when you RP with people - no one is going to fall into your trap. Maybe some newbs that don't know you and don't rp, but when you RP with text like *flashes evil seductive smile* it kinda gives your intentions away.

Its also not conducive to social roleplaying, as it requires victims and no one really wants to play one of those.



I think part of what people may not like about the story is that it the main character is an antagonist, not protaganist, and usually you want to see the antagonist get whacked in the end. Most people like a story that ends in resolution, not 'and the horrible serial killer went on and drifted into a peaceful sleep'.

I like this story of Willow. As for playing it game, it can work well as long as you have friends or other people who will play along with it- thus, meaning it's not a problem. Work on grammar and/or punctuation for your roleplaying- and it'll be better.

Also, this does make a good character. It's unique for your special ability to be one of suducing. While other people are trying to RP as Gods (literally... take Bosh as an example) and being rewarded for it (Bosh gets a nice rank in the Pirate kingdom), you'll be RPing a great unique seductive character and noone will care (you can already see why 2 kingdoms/leaders wouldn't care for your character)- such is the nature of Graal kingdoms: level up and don't RP...

Thank you, Ziro. It was not meant to be a recording of a roleplay on the game, and when i was in the coven of searith on valikorlia, the leader was a succubus, so we seduced many people, she sucked the persons soul out via sexual organs, etc etc. It works pretty well. It just wouldn't work on Graal Kingdoms.

That's because RPing on GK is virtually non-existent.

And don't believe everything you read on these forums. Plenty of people tell their say in RPing or claim to be RPers, but go find them in game- see what they're going. Find me- see what I'm doing. You'll see for yourself.

You're a sick person.

I am not, the story is wonderful. You most likely didn't read it, you despise me and so does most people here, so they just think i cannot do anything and say i'm sick or it's stupid.

Myukoi is an odd person >.> Thats all I have to say. Though her strange style of rping/story-making dosent really bother me to say the least.

The point is that some people don't share that opinion. Despite what I posted earlier, I'll tell you what I think: first, it's just a fragment - no real introduction of the characters, and no real ending. You don't get an idea why who does what, no motivations and such. This way, you don't get readers to say "and what happens next?", nobody's interested in what happens to a character that does some things for no appearant reason, and has no aims the reader is aware of.
Second, the story is about a woman who - just like that - forces a young girl into her room, does things to her that she does not want, then kills her - just like that. If she had any motives, it might work out better, but she doesn't. If there was a point to it, it might be a bit less strange, but there isn't.
The whole seduction-thing may work in a roleplaying context, if all the participants agree, yet keep in mind that nobody likes others trying to tell them how to behave. Also, you hardly ever get to kill anyone in rping. From a certain point of view, killing someone after forcing them to do things they did not want is kind of sick.
I, personally, do not like the story for both reasons mentioned above - it's a fragment without motivation, presentation or conclusion; and the contens is questionable for me, at least without any kind of motivation or conclusion.

Third, not that related to the story, but I still want to mention this. You not being liked (or despised, as you say) by some is at least partly your fault, in my opinion, seeing how you behave like you had the only valid points and ideas in an argument, not being diplomatic or arguing for your case on a logical base. If people think your story was sick, then it's their opinion, and while there's no need for you to subscribe to that, you should accept it as their's.

I don't truelly think the story was sick - it's fictional, and what people do in real life is even worse. But I have to agree that your aim is a bit unclear in the story. (For Willow's RP profile : http://www.freewebs.com/stormymoon/profiles.html )

Thank you for pointing that out, Satrek. It was helpful, except the last part anyway. Also, i would like to point out that these stories are chapters in a book, so that's why it seems like it's just a fragment.

((A story that tells what goes on at the Coven of Seduction. It does not tell about the Coven of Seduction, but more like what goes on at it. I might post the introduction for the Coven later.))

She sat at the windowsill, staring at the moon… so pure and white. Her eyes narrowed. She despised anything to do with purity. After all, the idea of purity was only an ideal one. The body was Made of sin. Made from sin. And made for sin.
That was the line of her coven. The Coven of Seduction. Pleasure and pain, all in one. She of course, would eventually become the high priestess of her coven, considering the current high priestess was getting a little… wrinkly. She smirked.
She was a seductress, a prostitute. She was nineteen, still many years until the... wrinkles and stretch marks started setting in. And although she gave pleasure, she had also dealt her fair share of pain. Speaking of pain…
She took out her dagger and dug the tip into her wrists. She bit her lip as she twisted it, and tore it out. Watching the blood flow, she grinned and laughed. Then with a flick of her hand, the gaping wound was gone.
Just in time, considering the High Priestess, Heather, burst through the door carrying some kind of crimson cloth in her hand. Heather tossed it at Willow, and she could see that it was a face veil. Curious… then a sudden, horrifying thought struck Willow.
Could it be? Could the wrinkles be setting in already? “You've got a client tonight. Hes into the mysterious, sexy thing. Its obvious where that thing goes, so get ready, they’re coming in 45 minutes” and with that, Heather swirled around, shutting the door behind her.
“If she is that quick when it comes to doing the deed, then it seems I've been overdoing myself,” muttered Willow, pulling on a loose red dress. She then twisted her raven-black hair up into a loose, wispy bun. It would come out during the job, but that worked into it.
She picked up the veil, giving it the once-over. It was thin, and fairly large. Willow folded it in half to form a triangle, and tied it over her nose and mouth. Looking into the mirror, she saw that Heather had chosen the red to set off her hazel eyes.
She smiled triumphantly, not that she could see it clearly. In fact, she seemed to be suffocating. Willow took it off, only to find that her hair had managed to get stuck in the knot. Without any help, she would not be able to take off the face veil. Mild panic set in.
She could not risk her reputation as future High Priestess by asking a low-level witch – or worse, a normal human – for help. Repeat: could not risk her reputation. She started laughing, short gasps for air puncturing a fruity, deep chuckle. Why hadn't she seen it before?
Wasn't she taught since a young child that to every question, magic was the answer? She muttered under her breath a spell and sighed. There, problem solved. Willow turned to look into the mirror once more to tie on the veil… when she saw it. Her hair. Which had been severed off due to the wrong spell.
How the hell did she end up muttering a severing spell instead of an anti-knot spell? She sighed and chanted a spell for her hair to grow back. Tying her hair back once again, she bent to pick up the veil when she froze. The red… the blood… the demons crimson eyes.
She shook herself in an attempt to forget her mother, her beautiful mother… who had abandoned her at the tender age of 16. Her eyes narrowed at the memory of her mothers death, and she used magic to have the veil float onto her face and walked out of her attic-room, into bedroom 13, the clients room.
As she opened the door, her eyes widened. She hadn't expected a woman. Composing her self, she walked further into the room – it didn't matter, after all, she was quite open. Striding into the room she grabbed the shirt of the woman and kissed her passionately, sinking her teeth into the bottom lip.
Mm… blood. The woman gasped as Willow slapped her and pushed her back onto the bed. Or maybe she gasped because at that exact moment, her hair decided to spill out of the bun. Whatever.
“I thought your boss said that you were supposed to be mysterious and sexy? Not rough?” The woman said timidly. Willow rolled her eyes as she bent to kiss the woman. It was going to be a very long night.

((Oh, and i hope you don't think i'm some sick guy who enjoys lesbian stories, i don't. It's just how my character i created is. Thanks.))

I'm glad my friend isn't here.

I guess on an RP level the only issue I have, is if this is the nature of your character a lot of dustarians would probably seek to burn your covens' homes the the ground and drive you all off.

Rping a murderous witch-prostitute requires we rp back in character, which I wouldn't know how to do in a way condusive to everyone having fun.


I don't mean to come across as narrow minded, I am speaking in terms of Dustari Law and my characters nature. If I didn't play Padren, I may even have played a cut throat pirate and mercilessly raid the ships and shores of main island. I do play padren though who has certian limits as to what he would be accepting of.


The other factor of course, is lots of people that have gold and read these forums, are 11-13 and the stories are a bit too mature for that age group, in my opinion

That's why i said it was PG-13, little perverts shouldn't have clicked it if they knew it was wrong. Anyway, my GK character isn't naughty. Or not that much.

War seems to be the most popular part of RPing to everyone. I have to admit- I'd love to be a part of a well roleplayed war as well. (Again, war is not a one-night battle... if any of you are going to respond talking about stupid PKing events- don't bother, you're only showing how terrible you are). War is a bit too mature also for young people. Also, you have to be 13 years old to get a Graal account on your own legally. If you're not 13, and you're doing it legally, it's done by parent's permission. Aren't parents allowed to bring kids to rated R movies?

Of course, assuming movie is clearly marked. If its a PG-13, with R content somewhere buried in it with a small discosure a half second before that part starts to cover your eyes - that doesn't really work.


I am just stating my opinion and my suspisions that this content leans towards innappropriate for the setting.

Life sucks then you get eaten by a chick.

mhm, being devoured by a male is much better.

She has a sick mind.

Parents who allow their kids to play graal usually only a rough idea of what they're doing, i.e. no odea about possibl sexual harassment in masses for example, and no knowledge whatsoever about the possibility of their kids being exposed to 'such' material in the forums.
But apart from that, Myukoi, why don't you write your story in a whole first, go through it again to make ot continous, then give it some friends to proof-read, then post it by attatching it as a txt. That way, you avoid stylistic criticism and people who "hate you" will not bother to read a lengthy story in the first place.

Oh wow, that made me laugh =). I really hate when people make stories out of games, make me wonder what they do with their life O_o. That's probably why I hate RPing.

Erm...yeah...nice story in some way. Plus, PG-13? Kids these days younger than 13 are way different. Btw, I love your DDR sig.

I doubt the word sexy existed back then o.O And shouldn't it be:

Erm, why would a veil suffocate you? And why, instead of chopping your hair off with spells so that you could breathe, wouldnt you just lift the veil up?

Gozelda, No. I have been through this before, this is my fictional character. You act like someone roleplaying/writing for a fictional character is new, Ugh. Open your ****ing mind. Ugh, why do you people make every thread i make about this? What you said had nothing to do with this story, but you acted like a total ass and said it anyway. What wouldn't be disgusting in your opinion? A world with only males, since a male writing about females is so disgusting. Hmm?

I can understand the character
what I don't like is the way she seems to have a spell for way too many little things
enough spells to where she can accidently enchant the wrong spell and still have yet another spell take place
and then she has a spell to fix what she screwed up
seems like a bit too much to me

It's not so much a spell, more like a magic act which is very simple, i don't know how to explain it.

Lyk Hry Poter Rite

still
oops, I accidently cut off my hair instead of pulling it back
now I'll just make it grow
seems way too convenient

Magic should be special, and at least require a wand, in my opinion. You use it as a tool rather than an ally, And it makes your character appear to be almighty - I mean, someone who has a spell for untieing hair, cutting it off and growing it again sure had a doomsday-spell, right?

Those stories doesn't make very much sense, but i guess it's because it's chapters taken out of content x_x

Plus like, if you can't even explain how it works, how the hell can you possibly know how to do it?

ps. si rewsna ehT: t'nac uoY

Little kids breathe, but they don't know how they do it.

ps: The answer is: you can.

Thye can ask their dads though, and -they- know. Who's she going to ask? ;)
Also, its kind of a bad analogy...breathing's an involuntary thingy, using some crazy spell to accidentally cut your hair off isnt, i'd hope ^^

*****, 100 cool points for the Monkey boy

Do you know how to walk? Sure, put one foot in front of the other. How do you move them? By using muascles, Which ones? Well, the right ones. How do you know you're not falling over? Keep your balance. How? By moving the right way... In effect, most things we do go straight from idea to action, you don't have to tell evers single muscle to move when typing a single letter - that would take ages, also, you don't even know which ones to contract would they not do it by themselves.

Still, my tool-point remains :p